Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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