He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
