there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
420 ftw
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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