so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize