i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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