I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
