I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
