I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
