The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
