Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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