i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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