1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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