At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
