with your own penis?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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