I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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