you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
