Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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