Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He has the fingertips of a God
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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