Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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