dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
