I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
