I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
