Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
