sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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