drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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