If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my liver is dry heaving
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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