remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
