Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hippo gnu deer
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
