Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
