Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
