so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
