You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
