Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm just crazy horny about you
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
