whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
