Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
