So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
