I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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