Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
