The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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