My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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