so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
