so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Are my feet made of real feet?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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