you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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