I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
