New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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