that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
