question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
