honey bunches of taint.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
