Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
