did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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